Did you ever notice how many commercials promote lying to your significant other? This one commercial really bugs me. A man is in a bar with his friends when his girlfriend calls and asks him if he's feeling better. Apparently he cancelled a date with her because he was "sick." She hears the noise in the background and calls him out on it. He says the noise is the tv and all of his friends pretend to be different television channels. She buys it. What's the point of this commercial? Buy this beer and lie to your wife?

Last night on my way home from work my roommate calls and asks me if my dog Oscar was with me. Of course I didn't have him because it was not bring your doggie to work day at Chilis. She said, "Oh. Well, I will call you back in a minute." My heart sank. I left him at home five hours ago and had no idea where he was. All I could picture was him squished somewhere in the middle of the road. I started crying. It was so dramatic. Then my roommate calls back and says," Um, nevermind, he's at the nextdoor neighbor's house playing with their dogs."

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Every morning it is the same thing. My alarm clock goes off and ruins my day. I don't think I have ever in my entire history of sleep woken up before my alarm. Every morning I hear the RIIIIINGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!! I swear under my breath and hit snooze until I have so little time to get ready and make it school that I am running out the front door. It doesn't matter what time I go to bed or how many hours of sleep I get. I never ever want to get up to an alarm.

Just shut up already!

So, in my piano class there is this one guy... He thinks he is so f-ing smart. He raises his hand and interrupts the teacher arguing with her about everything she says. "Um, Miss! Why do we have to do it like that?" Or "It's so much easier like this. Can't we just do it like this?" I honestly don't even know why he is taking the class since he obviously knows everything already. My teacher is a saint. She talks like a fairy godmother and is just the sweetest thing. She never loses her cool although I am sure he is driving her nuts! Everytime this guy raises his hand the whole class rolls their eyes and moans. I'm not exhaggerating when I say that half the class is wasted on this one guy and his quest to annoy. ARGHHH!

phonies and cowards

It's hard to tell who's real and who's fake. I'm not talking about the characters on "reality shows" I'm talking about people in real life. I work at a restaurant and I constantly hear, "I love you!" And, "you're my favorite!" from my female coworkers. It's not that I'm sooooo wonderful. Believe me, I'd like to be so awesome that everyone adored me, but I'm just not. The truth is, most of the people who say these things to me do not love me and even talk about me behind my back. They're the same people who would stop talking to me altogether if I didn't side with them on an issue. I am glad I am at a place in my life where I can recognize these people and hold them at arms length. If I wasn't such a coward I'd tell them straight up to cut the crap. But I hate confrontation. So usually I'll raise my voice an octave and mirror the phoniness right back. I hate myself for continuing the cycle.

Crazy Dog Owners

I have a dog. His name is Oscar. I love him very much. I do not wear a shirt with his face on it and I am not the president or even a member of a dog club. I do not dress him up in matching outfits and I do not treat him like a baby. He's a dog. When I walk him to the dog park I don't want to talk in detail about his poop. In fact I don't go to the park to talk to people at all.I just want to play fetch with my dog. And another thing! I don't want any advice on how to train my dog. I don't tell other people how to raise their pups. Oscar goes to the bathroom outside, he doesn't bite, he doesn't chew the furniture anymore and he's healthy. Is that not enough? Some pet owners are so delusional. Last week this lady told me I need to take my dog to obedience class so he won't bark, and that I should feed my dog this and that because he's chubby. I listened for a while and then pointed out that her dog was eating it's own poop. Back off you crazy dog owners!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMQ50ZXV194

righto.

What is up with the British accents? Does having one automatically make you appear smarter than the average American Joe? Seriously, every commercial or reality show on tv has an expert that sounds like Madonna. I'm over it. Can't we find a credible American?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3cTEQFP3VQ